Theo is stuck in a traffic jam going into downtown Ottawa .

Nothing is moving north or south.

Suddenly a man knocks on his window.

The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What happened? What's the
hold-up?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped Michael Ignatieff, Stephen Harper, Jack
Layton , Dalton McGuinty, Jean Charest and Gilles Duceppe.

They are asking for a ten million dollar ransom....otherwise, they are
going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire. We are going
from car to car, taking up a collection."

Theo asks, "On average, how much is everyone giving?"

" About four litres!"

To all you sun seekers who feel you have to pay for expensive southern vacations to go snorkeling, eat your hearts out!

                                            SNORKELING IN  MANITOBA!

Miles Macdonell Collegiate Alumni Association

60th Anniversary Committee

Monday, March 21st, 2011 – Room 5

In attendance:  Jim Smith, Chair, Donna Cudmore, Ron Storozuk, Debb Brethauer, Susan Tighe, Cassie Bodnar, Tracy MacDonald, Craig Oliphant, Gordon Fritzsche, Filippo Zimarino, Gina Staples, Myra Farmer, Sheila DeJong and Maureen Silk as Recording Secretary.

Meeting called to order at 7:00 p.m.

Ron advised 78 tickets to The Sisters of The Holy Rock concert have been sold to date, with another 48 still outstanding.  Vivien wasn’t present to advise how many the school has sold, but at last count it was 7.  The school will be closed next week for Spring Break, so that only leaves the week of April 4th left for the Grad Committee to make sales. 

Ron suggested offering tickets at a discount to students in the music program and this was agreeable.  Ron advised the venue has been changed to the theatre.  This will alleviate the need to rent a stage and chairs from the School Division and will lessen the amount of time needed for set up and take down.  Some students will be required to assist the group with loading and unloading their equipment and Vivien will arrange for this.

Jim distributed a listing of the Committees required for the 60th Anniversary and gave a brief outline of what some of them entailed.   Ron advised Darlene Lindsay has offered to sit at the Scholarship table and Susan will assist her.  Gordon asked if a master list of the Committees with the contact information of those people signed up would be provided and Maureen will distribute this.

Filippo suggested instead of having a pancake breakfast, just serving fresh fruit, muffins and bagels.  Ron suggested contacting Salisbury House to see if they would attend and put on the pancake breakfast for a reasonable price.  Donna suggested one hour wasn’t enough time and if we went ahead with the pancakes, to start at 9:00 or 9:30 a.m. and run it until 11:00 a.m.

Filippo advised he has spoken to the Multi-Media teacher and she will volunteer her time as well as that of a few of the top students in her class to take photos of the event.  It was determined that taking video as well would be too time consuming.  After the anniversary weekend, students could download all the photos onto the 60th Anniversary website where it would be available for viewing.  A price list could be determined and anyone wishing copies of the photos could order them and pay accordingly.  This would reduce the time and cost involved of printing out multiple copies of photos that are not needed.

Craig suggested charging everyone who registers for the event a fee of $10.00 whether they attend or not.  If they do attend, the cost of the musical revue ticket would be paid separately.  Craig indicated the monies raised from registration fees would go towards covering the costs of the event weekend.  Contact information would be obtained and periodic newsletters and alumni updates would be sent out.

Discussion was held regarding the importance of having a good website that is properly updated and Craig indicated he would work on this.

Filippo advised his cousin is an Editor at The Winnipeg Sun and he distributes a monthly newspaper to the Italian community.  He may be willing to do some articles regarding the 60th Anniversary.  Jim advised Stan Carbone, Class of 1975, would be a good person to interview.  Craig will speak to Bill Redekopp, also Class of 1975, who writes for The Winnipeg Free Press.

Meeting adjourned at 8:25 p.m. 

NEXT MEETING WILL BE ON MONDAY, APRIL 25TH, 2011

AT 7:00 P.M.  IN THE COLLEGIATE LIBRARY

So we met Mike and Kim and many more of Kim's family on our favorite island Isla Mujeres. We had the good fortune of celebrating Mike's 55th birthday with him and Kim's family. God how I wish I looked that good on my 30th! Well, beside his physical appearance, he is such a great guy, which I am sure most of you already know. And then there's Kate....Cat's (Kim's sis Kathy) beautiful daughter, who Mike was taking for a kayak ride on his birthday. What a great present for Mike! Sometimes we just don't realize how lucky we are. I could tell though, Mike knew what a special gift he had. Thanks for letting us join you and your family on your freedom 55 day! It was special for us too for so many reasons.
-Don H-

Ed. note; Give us a minute to stop blushing...Don, your sentiments are greatly (if not embarrassedly) appreciated, and having you and Jo there with the family really made the occasion extra-special. We look forward to many more years of celebration with you two on "our" island paradise...

Okay, so after arriving home, I realized that little Weebles had been messing around with the videos on the blog site, so for those of you who missed the verry funny Heinekin walk-in fridge commercial and it's equally clever sequel (both European versions), here they are again.

Here is a great story without a word being said (except for the message at the end) … it may bring a tear to your eye.

THE GERMAN TOURIST JUMPED IN AND SAVED THE DOG.

WHEN HE GOT BACK UP ON THE BRIDGE HE CHECKED THE DOG OUT AND TOLD THE OWNER THAT "ZER DOG IS OK—IT VILL BE FINE"

SHE ASKED, “ARE YOU A VET?”

HE REPLIED, "VET!?—I'M F***ING SOAKED!"

Ed. note; Sigh... serious journalism this isn't...

This is truly Amazing! 
-Bev A.-

Typical Arrogance of Government CRA Agents...
 
  
 A Canada Revenue Agency officer stopped at a farm in Southwest Saskatchewan, and talked with an old farmer.

 He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your property for illegally grown and sold drugs."
  
The farmer said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.....",
as he pointed out the location
  
The CRA officer verbally exploded saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me !"

    Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he pulled out his CRA badge and proudly displayed it to the farmer.

"See this badge?!  This badge means I am allowed to go wherever
I wish.... On any land !! No questions asked or answers given!! 
Have I made myself clear......do you understand ?!!"
      
The farmer nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores..

A short time later, the old farmer heard loud screams, looked up,
and saw the CRA officer running for his life, being chased by the farmer's big Santa Gertrudis bull......

With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety  The officer was clearly terrified.
   

The farmer threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....               

(I just love this part....)

"Your badge, show him your BADGE........ ! !"

-Submitted by Bev A.-

Ed. note; We suspect this whole story is a load of bull, Bev...

-Submitted by Peter W.-

        1. A man comes into the ER and yells . . . '

My wife ' s going to have her baby in the cab. '
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady ' s dress and began to take off her underwear.      
Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - - and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald ,
San Francisco

2... At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient ' s anterior chest wall.

' Big breaths, ' . . .  I instructed.
' Yes, they used to be, ' . . . replied the patient.  

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes ,
Seattle , WA

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.

Not more than five minutes later, I heard her
reporting to the rest of the family that he had
died of a ' massive internal fart. '

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg

4. During a patient ' s two week follow-up
appointment with his cardiologist, he informed
me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with
One of his medications.
'Which one? ' . .. . I asked. ' The patch...
The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I ' m running out of places to put it! '
I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn ' t see.
Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!

Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair ,
Norfolk , VA

5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient,
I asked, ' How long have you been bedridden? '
After a look of complete confusion she answered . . .
' Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive. '

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson-  
Corvallis , OR

6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked . . . ' So how ' s your breakfast this morning? ' 'It's very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can ' t seem to get used to the taste.' . Bob replied.
I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced
A foil packet labeled ' KY Jelly. '

Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf ,
Detroit ,

7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room
when a young woman with purple hair styled
into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting  a variety
of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing,
entered . . . It  was quickly determined that
the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was
scheduled for immediate surgery.. When she was completely disrobed on the operating
table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had
been dyed green and above it there was a
tattoo that read . . . ' Keep off the grass. '

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon
wrote a short note on the patient ' s dressing,
which said ' Sorry . . . had to  mow the lawn. '

Submitted by RN no name,
         
                   AND FINALLY!! ! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB.  
I was quite embarrassed when performing female
pelvic exams.. To cover my embarrassment
I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.

The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing
and further embarrassing me.
I looked up from my work and sheepishly said.  . .
' I ' m sorry. Was I tickling you? '  
She replied with tears running down
her cheeks from laughing so hard . . .

' No doctor  but the song you were whistling was . . .
' I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener . '

 Dr. wouldn ' t submit his name....



One More


Baby ' s First Doctor Visit

This made me laugh out loud.
I hope it will give you a smile!

A woman and a baby were in the doctor ' s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby ' s first exam.

The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
'Breast-fed, ' she replied..

' Well, strip down to your waist, ' the doctor ordered.

She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said,  ' No wonder this baby is underweight. You don ' t have any milk. '

I know, ' she said,  I ' m his Grandma,

But I ' m glad I came